Poems inspired by . . .

...the Raven

A Jukebox that has
Hendrix Band of Gypsies?
A Bar that has
Strong Beer at
an affordable price?
Seats that are booths
girls that are ruths
you can smoke in
there too
"yeah Bay-Bee
What the hell are
you writing"


. . .

...a man with a pamphlet

To a man with a pamphlet:
"No thanks. I've already
got my own religion. I
made it up. It's called
fucking Reality."


. . .

...rain

drop drop drop
Umbrella Umbrella Umbrella
rain rain rain
slosh slosh slosh
walk walk walk
smile smile smile
wet wet wet
rain rain rain


. . .

...being there

Australia, Vietnam, India
Cuba, Italy, Italy
I've seen it all
warm smiles
and warm hearts
Old people with
squinty eyes
Squinty people with
old eyes
They accepted Master,
Visa, and American Express
they accepted US Dollars
they didn't accept me


. . .

...l'enfant cafe

sitting in a bar
It feels more like
a sad Valentines Day
than a rainy
Halloween
sitting in a
sitting in a
sitting in a
sitting in a bar
I am having a
pretty good time
sitting in a
sitting in a
sitting in a
sitting in a bar
I am having another
happy but bored
sitting in a
sitting in a
sitting in a
sitting in a bar


. . .

...Bulgaria

A Bulgarian girl so beautiful
I wanted to write a poem
about her, but didn't

She is one of the girls
I had already written
sung
dreamed about
so many times


. . .

...the royal We

Welcome to the
Kingdom of I
We appreciate it
when you dismount
We appreciate it
when you walk
your bike
through the Shires
of I
the Kingdom of I
would like to
extend
our deepest
condolences
at the loss
of your coinage
through your Holy
Pocket
The Kingdom of
I me my
welcomes you
an announces
It has officially
become a me my
and is now
the Kingdom of I Me My


. . .

...a new pad

In the Beginning
Starting out the first few lines
of a new notebook
I wonder what the future holds
in store for it me us


. . .

...girls on bikes

Wooo!
I like yelling at
girls on bikes
Hey! Are you hot?
I can't see you you're
going too fast.
slow down ...
... if you're hot

More Shopkeeping Poems:

As a Shopkeeper

If you have any questions
Let me know
If you have any questions
Let me know
If you have any questions
Let me know
If you have any questions
Let me know
If you have any questions
Let me know
If you have any questions
Let me know
I am the all-knowing
Oracle of the Universe


. . .

Shopkeeper/Parent

Children with
Parents who can't
Control them

Leave it to me
to scold them

Mother? Father?
Couldn't You've told them?


. . .

Stray

When you're a shopkeeper
Sometimes you have a dog
Sometimes you have the door
open


. . .

A thief in the shop

A bare spot on the wall
A picture missing
Never Sold
It was Stolen
Stolen from my boss
Maybe
Stolen from me
Definitely
I sat at my desk
As they walked by
I probably even smiled,
"Bye"
I really want to get that
"Guy" I hope
so I can
smash his face
to pulp


. . .

at work

When I go to
the travel photo
shop and sit
behind the counter
The Whole World
is in front of me
and DC is behind me


. . .

Tourists

Sometimes when
I get off work
and I am walking
down by the fountain
I overhear a family
A Father, Mother
Their children
communicating
and understanding
in a way
that impresses
the Hell out of me

Demon House Poems:

To the Demon House

I am so fucking loud
a couple of beers
turns me into a werewolf
I need to live
in the woods
somewhere by
myself
getting drunk
not bothering
anyone
scaring flocks
of birds
Howling
in the middle
of the night


. . .

Welcome to Demon House

Welcome to the
Demon House
come on in
we'll chop you up
and put you in
the freezer

In the kitchen
We wrap mummies
and create robots
from the recently-
operated upon
with aluminium
foil and duct tape
bodies wrap themselves
in plastic wrap for
fresh keeping
It's all going to Hell
If you can figure out
What is going on
with this

Where is angry
cellophane man

Hey take these
stick piles away
and become
tree-removal man

We'll chop you up
and put you
in the freezer

We'll chop you up
and put you
in the freezer

why are you so
mean to them
man
they're nice
people
Well I'm not
I'm angry bear
man
I live in Demon
House
we'll chop you up
and put you
in the freezer


. . .

Team Recycle Departs

I want you to
know you look
Damn good tonight
Team Recycle
w/ the old logo
from little Debbie's
snack cakes
Team Recycle
man
you know
the old logo
from little Debbies
representatives
for team recycle
along with their
retired attorney
turned sailor
aka
flammable-scarf
man.
Man that's going
to be some party
they're headed to
Hey Team Recycle
Tell the Polak
I said something
vulgar
and punch him
in the stomach
you're Team
Recycle
Team Recycle
Man


. . .

Demon Food Cake

Manny & Olga s
Bavarian Fish Pizza
A Holiday
Maybe Day of the Dead
It is going great
we have arrived

preachers of death

on my way to work I thought I saw the preachers of death -- Rex Weil

Some Poems for Shopkeepers:

fucking idiots pretending there is something more to life than living

A thought

behind the counter

at the end

of the day



. . .

City Lights Take-Out

The
man at
the chinese
food restaurant puts
special fortunes in pick-ups
for "Mike's" Because he knows
How it is being the same
as everyone else.



. . .

Sitting on a desk

I listen to a japanese
girl sing softly in french
I close my eyes and
feel the sun on my face
I smell the fabric of my
cleaned shirt and feel my
new socks on my feet
I close my eyes and
feel the sun on my face
the music stops and
here come the clouds
my shirt becomes soiled
with odor and my
socks get crusty



. . .

Standing on a chair

Looking out over rooftops
across streets & over cars
and here comes a customer
(I'm cleaning frames)
back down here
he finally leaves
and I'm staring
face-to-face with the chimneys
I'm looking out and over
over the people and cars
of Conn Ave & 20th Street
an old man slows down
at the store front
will he bring me down?
no, he keeps on
Back over the city I
Stare into a construction site
and wait for customers

From the Periphery, three and 60 seconds

getting VA fertilizer pesticide applicators licensed
a division of the empty page is filled by
a moor, the felco store-returns department
seeping out from under the silver grasses
the mud, peat, and bog,
we make our way through the dictionary and find
is this a stranger in my bed, every time I wake up?
kiss it, make it better
you can see every little inch
the package has arrived and all is not lost
i pretend i don't know him
g-o-p-n-i-k buys 60 gees bend quilt stamps
its around its around its around
spin spin spin
he is going to southeastern university for a master's degree
I met a guy from mali, outside the library
copper with punches and galvanized steel.
they locked the gates
I am only the organ, beating in my chest
johnny appleseed i knew it could only get worse
and I am realizing at this exact moment
a bird to break the silence
we are lost without a compass

Preview of newest US Weekly

Click to see in full detail.

Celts Already Know ...

we are

50,000?

100,000?

we can
determine
our age

by how much
of our history

we know

we know

god tore this down

The Meaning of Life =

1.) You can have sex

2.) You can have ideas


The 2 Methods of Immortality =

1.) Through having children

2.) Through passing on ideas

Reasons I Shouldn't Go To The Gym

1.)Demon House

2.)My testicles would become enlarged from testosterone and not just from wearing boxers

3.)I would walk three blocks and get in 3 fights

4.)

shopkeeping blahs

the same people
from different
places

talking about
the same things
in different ways




shopkeeping ahhs

girl that's tall &
Brunette
Leather purse
Leather coat

a beautiful animal

If she was
a deer

I would
eat her

Can't Compromise

You can't even
ask another
girl

Because they
don't even
understand
each other

they're all
crazy man

Cat Fighting Racoon Statement

Cat Fighting Racoon
International proclamations exclaiming the degrees through which one can accomplish mental transgression.

A banquet table with nation's leaders adorning the sides, addressing Cat Fighting Racooon.
"IF WE ALLOW CAT FIGHTING RACOON TO CONTINUE, IT WILL NOT ONLY REFLECT ON OUR LACK OF MORAL COMPASS, BUT PUT FUTURE GENERATIONS INTO A STATE OF PERIL." And so it ended for them.

A state of statehood states that static stagnentation be mandatory.
Birthed from Project MK-Ultra, as well as a more secret project referred to as Project Runway (far preceding the nationally adored show).They were born as cold war soldiers, minds molded for a battle not fought on turf, but within the frequencies of the mind. Their eyes become scopes for scouting suspicious movement, aware of all peripheral activity. Their ears become radars that recept wayward information, calculating all corners of the room. Their families were the scientists that went home to other families. Plucked from the anonymity of the American Suburb, they trained for a fight believed to be inevitable. When the wall crumbled under the inspiration of David Hasselhof, Cat Fighting Racoon was left to pick up the rubble.

Left with no home-base to report to, Cat Fighting Racoon soon embraced the medium of music. They think not of music as an imitative song and dance performed by the lacklustered angst riddled psuedo-artist, but they percieve it as a form of speech, dialogue, debate, with all undertones entirely sexual (but isn't everything). Thoughts are trajected via frequency override, and then given a tone to match. They play what they are thinking, and if you are unable to understand what they are saying then perhaps your frontal lobe requires readjustment.

From the desk of C.F.R.
Acapulco, Peru

to my longest and dearest Friend

i woke up,
....still drunk

maybe i'll sit in a church to sober up
....its been happening too much

why dizzy me up?
....but, i've been workin hard

i think i'm hung up
....no, not at school

these words, i need to throw up
....at the promises i gave, You

don't worry, i'm still lookin up
....didn't think it'd be that hard to keep

i came around and choked up
....never been so aware of being so weak

what is this getup?
....i'd rather be nude

i woke up,
....You You You You You

Things I Like About Girls

1.When they dance

2.When they laugh and smile

3.When they're drunk (sometimes)

4.

the circus he brings

right tight,
hark!
accents from the isles!
tune in! tune in!
fuzzy ipod,
capture word sounds.
recount them to us,
the abandoned handful
of the demon house.
a giant child lives here.
so much pot,
we wonder if he's a gardener.
no, he's a giant ass.
a friendly giant.
a loud big friendly giant ass.
he rolled all his weed,
pulled from it a seed,
planted it and watched it grow.
naturalist, farmer and agriculturalist.
camera phone photographer.
then there was bebot.
filipino! filipino!
and the world series photographer,
on his way to delaware.
and the photographer from delaware.
and the artist, framer and networker i hadn't talked to in ages.
plus bikeG(FINE)irl, and that was all.

Questions for the late show

Coffee topped the show with pink flowers.
I herd rumors that you would be around tonight.
spinning drunken dreams.
out of body I see just my clothes on the floor.
I must have exploded last night.
breaking both legs at the knees.
shouldn't have been throwing chairs.
it was the impact not the fall or spring.
I think it hurt more to know I wasn't insured.
I'm never sure.

Tea lost the top last night.
amidst the pelicans swooping about.
I frown when it is least necessary.
maybe the bus ride would have killed me.
why did you look at the clock.
the eggs were more fertile before.
thinking back I wish I had remembered.
the caps were not harmed but the bone was done.
I put on a shirt and head for cover.
it is never over.

List Of Objects I Should Label In Arabic(Phonetically) With Post-its

1. Table: Tara bEza
2. Chair: karAsi
3. Plate: SaHn
4. Cup: fin gAn
5. Wall: HEt
6. Door: bAb
7. Rifle: bun duq iya
8. Ammunition: mUnet Askar

Morning moping

It's raining and I'm cold.
I should get a hot shower.
I should get out of bed and eat some eggs and toast.
I should brush my teeth.
I should read and write in Spanish.
I want a new car.
I should find another regular job that pays as well as tree work.
I should assist more photographers.
I want endorphins. I really, really, need endorphins.
I should run.
I kind of want to move out of my house.
I really like this girl.
I want a pro DSLR.
I want to go to Barcelona. I want to go to the islands.
I want a bike. I want clothes. I want.
I hate wanting stupid shit.
I dislike the word hate.
I am hungry.
I am done complaining this morning.

Lang & Smith

Doug Lang and Casey Smith will be giving a speed reading this Thursday, October 19th, 7pm, as part of the Corcoran Faculty Exhibit. The Corcoran is located at 500 17th St., NW. Copies of last year's DSS journal will be available for purchase. Email csmith@corcoran.org for information.

B. Long

bing bang boop

african war drums
zero gravity
telepathy film

bing bang boop

JdP poem variation #1

(umbra; eclipse) Totality of Path Variation No. 1
A cave in the dark that slowly consumes.
This is all they have, a hole in the earth-
The hearts begin to mold over, indistinct and heavy
There are no windows
There is no breeze
There are fragments of bicycles everywhere
There are grease marks on the walls
All the photos have been bent
All the Tupperware is stained red
Lies in wait, under the rocks, in the shadows
The turtle reluctantly grows and the Plecko
Shows nothing but neglect.
By a faint and persistent light
A rotting cabbage bouquet revealed
The grime is growing thicker.
Rust in the bathtub from the bobby pin abandoned
Dehumidifier red light on - full
Clothes pile everywhere

Path of Totality (eclipse; umbra)

Clothes pile everywhere
Dehumidifier red light on- full
Rust in the bathtub from the bobby pin abandoned
The grime is growing thicker.
A rotting cabbage bouquet revealed
By a faint and persistent light
Shows nothing but neglect.
The turtle reluctantly grows and the Plecko
Lies in wait, under the rocks, in the shadows.
All the Tupperware is stained red
All the photos have been bent
There are grease marks on the walls
There are fragments of bicycles everywhere
There is no breeze
There are no windows
The hearts begin to mold over, indistinct and heavy
This is all they have, a hole in the earth-
A cave in the dark that slowly consumes.

Grizzazzledoo

Sad, ignored, forgotten, never used.
Rejects of the blog folder.
Missed the boat, missed the train.
Missed the point.
Found a place. They can (D) C. (They were blind, they were lost.)
Amazing. Finding grace. Troubling her for a light.
The culture of science. The electrogronicalia and the flashing gizrotmalimos.
Banter and bound. Big beats and real big sounds.
Beach to the 'ville to the mountains, return to DC.
Nothing makes typing harder than doing it with your toes.
Word. Word of the state. Ward of the state. Weird of the state.
State of the word. Done. Figurolatimonix. Try it. Check out the effed placement of these effed boring pix. Snoring pix. I'm THE BORING PHOTOGRAPHER.

"California" an excerpt

restore your Mustang

simply cut children's hair

talk your way out of a traffic ticket

be a celebrity

be chic, fabulous, and live forever

give life to the spirit of Aphrodite in you

live aboard your own boat

sell 75% of your freelance writing

use a dictionary picture book

write & sell your sense of humor

attract hummingbirds & butterflies

adopt from Romania

be a slightly better parent

become an international penpal

find your treasure in a gift basket

service your own tube amp

talk dinosaur with your child

defeat demons: an international manual

get started with modems

land your first paralegal job

massage your cat

pass your California smog check

really party: the sure-cure for boredom

spiritualize your marriage

succeed in chiropractic college

Photos From Sidewalk Eviction Pile

"... well the saddest thing is
these people got evicted.
Oh!
I didn't realize
he was standing inside
of a car."

Bring Your Laptop Over

bring your laptover in
october
come on over
we'll have leftovers

"great. stouffer's?"

... if these are the same girls.

Walking to work I wonder
if these are the same
girls I see all day
who are walking up
and down Conn. Ave.
They don't seem to look
quite as good at this
hour of the morning. Are
they different women? Working
women? When I get to
the shop, after I turn off
the security system & turn
the lights on & the register,
I sit in my chair and
look out the window.

amazingly, (almost), they
appear. Nearly
every one of them at
least an 8. But I'm
suspicious that about
3 in 10 aren't interested
in men, maybe more.
(I'm not counting half the
tourists [or anyone over
38.]) And out of all those
numbers it seems
few are interested in
me. At least none are
interested in having
sex with me. And
barely any care to
smile or talk to me. The
most beautiful women
in the world wander
into this shop
everyday. They are
a visual pleasure supplied
to me, as a shopkeeper,
by the embassies of
the world. And by some
of the most prestigious
universities. Many times

it's not until they enter
this very small shop that
I realize their true
beauty. Every emotion
melts from my head
and
heart down to my
feet until I am made
the shell of a person,
a shopkeeper.

Most signs of any
personality at all are
drawn away by
my concious contemplating
the appropriation of my
employer's store as a
place to strike up a
conversation w/ a beautiful
girl.

Columbus Day Text Messages

Me to all: You Remind Me of Columbus.

Andrew Mokey: How's That?
Breck: Christopher?
Chris(school): What?
Corey Riggle: Thanks.
Gerry: What?
Jen Eggleston: How so?
Holly: The Explorer, I take it?
Carol Jean: What?
Jeremy: Call when you get a chance.
Jorge: Who are you.
Marc: why is that?
Matt(Level): Thanx!
Marissa Long: ?
Chris(school): explain urself
Holly: are u saying im a greedy imperialist or a visionary genius?
Rob Dorfmann: why
Richard R: green death, the new beer u queer?
Panama Rick: Christopher Columbus? I updated my blog check it out!
Nehemiah: What?
Alex(andra): How that is?
Chris Combs: Intrepid adventurer, a little crazy? They called me Christopher Columbus in Kindergarten. How's the who housing thing working out for you
Karl Fuchs: How so?
Casey Smith: You remind me of Amerigo Vespuci
Kevin Dietsch: Thank you now lets go kill some indians
AJ: What
KT Text: What
Andrew Bain: I'm sailing. Like Magellan.
Wendey Galietta: Gee, thanks.
Rachel Fick: Columbus is a jerkface.
Page: Columbus?
Eunice: Do i remind you of columbus? Ha ha is that my name? :-) How was your long weekend?


Me to all: Thank you for participating in my columbus day experiment.

Rob Dorfmann: No Problem
Richard R: No problem pinta
Carol Jean: OK then
Matt(Level): I think it is bs that we don't even get paid time and a half for this holiday.
Chris(school): ur a columbus day experiment
Karl Fuchs: You're welcome. Freak!
AJ: Do i get paid or are we beating the natives like christopher
KT Text: What are you talking about lol
KT Text: You're so random i love it
Panama Rick: Dude i am pretty sure columbus is oct 12
Page: Ha ha i wasn't celebrating. were u?

When I'm People Watching ...

When I'm people watching on the sidewalk
the oak tree drops acorn bombs
that thud off the roofs of cars
startling me and passersby

When I'm people watching on the sidewalk
it's either feast or famine
a lull with no one at all
or so many people of interest
my neck is sore
and my eyes just catch glimpses

When I'm people watching on the sidewalk
there is noise from construction & buses
a man on a cement mixer yells
a woman gets hit with an acorn

When I'm people watching on the sidewalk
I explain the acorns are falling from the oak tree
when a woman walking, glares at me

When I'm people watching on the sidewalk
I see workers carrying file cabinets on their backs
a man smashing cardboard in the trash
tourist trollies on tires w/ no tracks
people carrying computer trash
dogs on leashes
broken glass

When I'm watching people from the sidewalk
I see a crippled man w/ change in glass
a lot of ass
I nearly see an auto crash
a friend
a sailor I know from past

When I'm people watching from the sidewalk
I make a horrid glance
to the foot of an old man's pants
who's bowels relaxed too fast
I gasp & gag
his wet pants sag

Sometimes sidewalk people watching 's such a drag

Cell Phones Everywhere

Everybody I see is looking at their cell phones.

The man who is getting ready to go on a run.

The taxi driver.

The guy riding his bike the wrong way down the oneway.

The guy who walks by on the sidewalk but doesn't notice me sitting on this porch.

The girl waiting under the streetlight for the crosswalk to turn.

Even me. In fact, I only see these things when I look up from my own cell phone.